So a thing you need to know about my house before I begin is that we have neighbors. We have neighbors that live in the back of our house. Not in the Creepy They’ve Been Living In My Wall type of thing, but they live in a duplex type thing that connects to our kitchen. We share a wall.
There. You know that. Let’s get to it.
I have three kids. There, you know that now, too. The Large ones are 8 and 7. The Tiny Human Who Drives Me Bonkers is 3. Tiny Human does his best to undo every ounce of pride I have ever felt as a Mother when it was just the Large ones. He does SUCH. A. GOOD. JOB. Every day he shows me that no, the Large ones are Real Humans through no act of my own, because clearly, I am unable to repeat that with him. Tiny Human got us kicked out of a community gym a few days ago during a very low-key gymnastics lesson because within three minutes of starting he had somehow pulled his shirt off and run onto the mat screaming like the very Mad Person that he is.
I’ve never been asked to leave before.
It was an unpleasant experience.
Anyhow, Tiny Human keeps me yearning for Jesus in such a way that I never did with the first two. Moms over there are all, Ooooooo I hope you don’t grow up, and I’m sitting on my kid so he won’t run away screaming COME LORD JESUS COME! Because of this, I believe that perhaps I prayed for Growth and Endurance one too many times. And so Endurance became flesh and dwelled with us. And made me cry. He’s been great for my prayer life though, so I will continue to thank Jesus for my Tiny Human.
Another thing you need to know about me, I am an average human and have an average poop cycle.
Yes, we are going there.
So the other morning I was Doing My Thing in my bathroom, you know, having my Quiet Time, when Tiny Human comes crashing in. I took a moment to thank God that my Tiny Human had grown justenough to be able to reach the door handle for the fifth time that week. Tiny Human than began doing his normal routine…. Light on, light off, light on, light off. Fan on, fan off, fan on, fan off. Light on, fan on. Light off, fan off. This tiny light orchestra was supported by my Firm but Useless yells, attempting, but failing oh so miserably, to get the Tiny Human to stop messing with the lights cause I can’t read in the dark, and stop messing with the fan cause, dude, Bathroom Rule Numero Uno— Fan stays on. It was also backed by his gleeful bouts of laughter at mom’s helplessness. This lasted for a good five minutes. It lasted, in fact, until my Quiet Time was over and done with and I was able to shoo him out of the bathroom myself.
Another thing to know about my house—the bathroom is right off of the kitchen, and shares a wall with our Neighbor’s kitchen. And Neighbors are home during the day during the week. Which means Neighbors get to hear our Bathroom Symphony EVERY DARN DAY. And that is also why I cannot lock said door. Because then Tiny Human will sit outside the door and bang on it while yelling MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA WHY YOU POOOOOOOOOOOOOPING the entire time I am in there.
Let’s wrap this up with a Bible Lesson.
Think of the Proverbs 31 Woman (Proverbs 31:10-31)…. I am totally not her. But I am pretty sure it’s because Proverbs 31 Woman didn’t eat too many processed foods and also didn’t smuggle gluten even though she knows it backs her up (it says it right there, verse 27… she “does not eat the bread…. Of idleness…”) . And also, her Tiny Humans just had to go through a cloth flap probably to get to her during her Quiet Time… and there was no electricity… so therefor no switch-playing. So… really… She doesn’t even KNOW what I have to put up with.
Anyway, what I am trying to say is this. Proverbs 31 Woman is such a great picture of a steadfast Christian Woman. But God knows that we cannot be her. He knows us to our bones. He knows we are impatient. He knows we are grumpy before coffee. He knows we are totally on Facebook when we should be having Quality Time with our children.
He knows US. And he loves US. And he will use US. As we are. Does that mean that we should not strive to be more like Proverbs 31 Woman… not at all. It just means that we are allowed to Come As We Are. We are allowed to wrap our Poop In Silence Deprived Selves around the foot of the Cross and know that we are loved.
You didn’t know how I was going to tie Poop into Proverbs 31, did you. It’s amazing what lessons you can learn in even the smelliest of circumstances!